A smile on your face or a free groat!
The bins fly south tonight!
True Blood series 4 – where do we stand????
Hah! You wait 2 years for a newsletter and then 2 come along at once! Hello. AGAIN! Listen my amigos, I’ll explain. I just thought I’d try to communicate on a more regular basis, maybe in smaller pieces. Would that work? I’ve even been – yes! – investigating ‘the twitters.’ (My sister Caitriona’s husband Sean’s friend Paul was approached by his father who slapped his hand on his shoulder in a meaningful manner and looked him right in the eye and said, “Son. What can you tell me about the googles?”) So now all technology stuff is described by me in such a fashion. Mind you, it’s no joke, I’m a total luddite, I’m not even on Facebook (or the Facebooks), I still don’t really get it. It seems like so much hard work and even though Anne Marie explains to me ENDLESSLY that actually it involves less work and that you get to see photos and stay in touch, I still don’t get it. But yes. The Twitters! And then I could tweet about what I’m watching on telly, which is pretty much all I do. In fact, most days I’d tweet, “God, Ashley Banjo’s mother must be so proud of him.” Because that’s exactly what I say every single evening when I watch Got To Dance Auditions Uncut. I look at him and he’s so beautiful and perfectly formed and intelligent and creative and articulate and seems like such a nice, nice boy. (If you have evidence that he isn’t, I BEG of you, I IMPLORE you, don’t tell me, I’m too fragile, I need to believe in nice, good, decent things.) (Apologies to those of you outside the Britain / Ireland region who don’t get this).
So anyway, I just thought that with the world being in such a parlous way, I’d list some
nice things to cheer us all up
Let’s start with The Muppets Movie. It’s adorable and such fun and I hadn’t realised but it’s got Amy Adams in it. I LOVE Amy Adams. And there’s a fair bit of singing like there was in Enchanted. Go. All age groups will love.
Jean Byrne, the weather forecaster. Let me explain. Every evening on RTE, at the end of the news, so it’s just before 7 o’clock, the weather comes on. Unlike in other countries, the people who do the weather on Irish telly really are meteorologists, not just glam types reading an autocue, so Jean Byrne is a real person, who knows about isobars and cold fronts and whatnot. And because of that I’m fairly sure she doesn’t have a stylist or a dress allowance, so it’s TOTALLY her own look. And it’s AMAZING. Sort of Weather-Goth. Sometimes she wears a white pleather sheath which zips all the way up the front. And other times a see-through black top (but with a fine stout vest underneath.) And she’s got this ring that’s the size of a hot air balloon and all spiky and like a medieval weapon. But the best thing of all is the slashed black dress. You MUST see the slashed black dress. (I’m going to try and do a link to her. Or else google ‘Jean Byrne that dress.’) And the thing is you don’t get her every night, sometimes you get Evelyn or John. But the excitement when we get Jean! If I’m out of the room, Himself yelps, “Quick! Come quick, it’s Jean.” And I come haring into the room and we sit on the edge of the couch and say, “What’s she wearing tonight?” Jean Byrne is one of the reasons I love living in Ireland. I keep telling Ljiljana, (do you remember, Ljiljana is my sis-in-law, I told you the last time that she’s recently moved to Ireland from Prague) that by living in Ireland, she’s living in ‘an earthly paradise.’ Poor Ljiljana, I’m not sure she’s entirely convinced. (I’ll explain the ‘earthly paradise’ thing. I read an article in some newspaper about North Korea and some poor native was quoted as saying that she lived ‘in an earthly paradise’, which is a fairly inaccurate description of the place I’d say, especially having read Nothing To Envy, a non-fiction book about life in North Korea, which I can’t recommend highly enough.)
Right, what else is good. Well, lambs, obviously, and for those of us in the northern hemisphere, they’re starting to appear. Also daffodils. And 11-year-old nieces. Do you have any? If not, could you borrow one? They’re fantastic. I’ve only the one, the wondrous Ema, but she’s a howl.
Tom Dunne (another reason that Ireland is an earthly paradise). I realise I’m veering dangerously close to sounding like a Tom Dunne window-licker, but he said hello to me (on the radio, not in real life, I would DIE from awe if I ever met him in real life) and played a SPECIAL SONG for me on his show about Wednesday nights being our ‘special’ night, which indeed it is, because it’s the night we both get our bins collected, as we live in the same neck of the woods. It caused a sensation amongst my friends and family! A veritable SENSATION, I tell you. It began with Malcolm ringing me and saying, “I don’t know what’s going on, but Tom Dunne is sending you coded messages on his show!” And continued from there. A torrent of jealousy from other Tom Dunne window-lickers (formerly my friends) was directed my way, but I didn’t care.
Earth, Wind and Fire. Yes, the group from the 70s. Oh, go ahead, have a good laugh at me and my taste, but when you’ve finished mocking me, try listening to Boogie Wonderland, or September and if it doesn’t bring about some uplift in your spirits, I will pay you a groat (I’ll try and sort it out with PayPal but like I said I’m not great with technology so bear with me.) One of my very few gripes about Got To Dance is the utter lack of imagination in the music choices. Every ‘fierce’ girl crew play that Beyonce song, the one about running the world and amigos, I could WEEP when there is so much amazing music that they COULD be dancing to, but no, Beyonce and more Beyonce and yet more Beyonce is what we get. (I’m not saying I don’t like Beyonce, my feelings for Beyonce are in fact extremely labyrinthine and complicated and intricate and this isn’t the place for me to explore them. All I’m saying is that I’ve heard that song TOO often and there are other very good songs which have NOT been give a fair crack of the whip.) Right, that’s it! I’m going to list 10 great dancey songs that are NOT by Beyonce. In no particular order.
I Wish/ Stevie Wonder
Groove is in the Heart/ DeeLight (my most favourite song EVAH)
My Lovin’ You’re never going to get it/En Vogue
Tightrope/Janelle Monae (god, she’s AMAZING. What an artist! Mesmerising. Myself and Himself had tickets to go to her last year but we were defeated by ‘the fucking snow.’ Which had started as, ‘Ah, look at the lovely snow.” Then when it didn’t stop it became, “I dunno about this snow…” Then when cars started going into skids outside our front door and buses were abandoned and the passengers had to get off only to promptly slip and break their hips, mutated into “This fucking snow! This fucking snow! Will it ever fucking stop!”)
Disco Inferno/ The Tramps
Fairplay/ Soul II Soul
He’s the Greatest Dancer/ Sister Sledge (containing surely the best verse EVER written, ‘He wears the finest clothes, the best designers heaven knows, oooh, from his head down to his toes. Halston, Gucci, Fiorucci, he looks like a still, that man is dressed to kill.’ Pure poetry, no? Recently read the Nile Rogers auto-bio, FAScinating. I always enjoy a ‘my-drink-and-drugs-hell’ read.) I should also add that this is nephew Oscar’s ‘song’ because when he was about 6 months old I played it to him and it was like a bolt of electricity went through him. I swear to you, the look in his eyes! He KNEW it. He KNEW it, he loved it, in his head he was groooooooovin’. He would have danced his legs off if only he’d been able to stand.
Get Up Off That Thing/ James Brown
You Should Be Dancing/ the Bee Gees (please don’t mock me…)
Car Wash/ Rose Royce
Off The Wall/Michael Jackson
Forget you/ Cee Lo Green (and this where an 11-year-old niece comes in VERY handy. Together the 2 of you have to sing in the highest falsetto you can manage, ‘I pity the FOOOO-HOOOOOL who falls in love with you.’ Keep singing it, until you shatter a wine glass, then give yourself 2 squares of chocolate.)
Apart from Cee Lo Green and Janelle Monae I acknowledge I’m somewhat old school. Also I think there might be a few more than 10 songs. But give them a try and like I said, a groat will be yours if a smile isn’t put on your face.
Finally, Himself climbed Ben Nevis, the highest mountain in Scotland, Ireland, England, Wales and tons of other places. Fair play. FAIREST play. Congratulations to him.
Right, I’m off! But I’ll be back soon. At least I’ll try. Can I just ask your thoughts on True Blood, series 4. Himself said to me the other night, “True Blood, series 4, are we in or out?” I don’t know… God, it used to be so brilliant. Series 1 was so exceptionally exciting and sexy and glorious. But even by series 2, I was starting to think it was ridiculous. (Except for the whole storyline about Jason Stackhouse joining the holy-rollers, LOVED that. Do you know he’s actually Australian in real life?) Series 3, God don’t talk to me, fecking werewolves and kings of Mississippi and no end of silliness, but still… I have a great deal of affection for Sookie and Bill. I MIGHT, is all I can say. Also, you can’t fault True Blood for a lack of ridey men. Erik the Viking I could take or leave but I particularly liked that one in series 3, tall bloke, Joe something. I’ve had to google it. Joe Manganiello, who reminds me of a young Himself.
I’m NOT doing season 2 of Boardwalk Empire. I just didn’t care enough even though I really like your man whose name momentarily escapes me. Ah, you know the one I mean, he was in Fargo. Feck it, I’ll have to google him. Is is Willem Dafoe? No, it’s not. It’s Steve Buscemi. Why did I think Willem Dafoe, they’re NOTHING like each other. Oh, I could go on all day. But I’m really going now and I’ll be in touch very soon. Thank you, as always
Lots and lots of love