It's Your Funeral

Author Marian Keyes says her mourners must wear their most glamour clothes and eat as much chocolate as they can.

A close friend of mine died aged 30 and even now, years later, I am unable to put the horror of that loss into words; platitudes are my only expression. I remember accompanying him to pay for his own funeral and thinking how insanely unnatural that was. He had been sick for a long time and was able to prepare for his own death knowing exactly what he wanted for his service.

I have always lived for the present, partly because I expect to have at least 30 or 40 years left. Death does not scare me because it does not feel imminent but, recently, a lawyer friend of mine advised me to make a will, which certainly made me stop and think. I used to be an alcoholic and almost dying from that addiction has given me the feeling that life is very precious. Of course, I never thought that while I was drinking - during those binges I was just to unhappy that I had the feeling I had ceased to exist.

I suppose my first encounter with death was at the age of 12 when my grandfather passed away. It seemed doubly tragic to me because my grandmother was left behind. Death is weird - there are so many questions that remain unanswered. I can see how the idea of an afterlife is a very comforting one but, although I was brought up a Roman Catholic, I don't believe in living for heaven or hell. I think the time spent on this Earth should be maximised.

I don't mind whether I am buried or cremated: it would be up to those who are left behind. At least if a person is buried there is a physical place the bereaved can go to mourn and feel close to the person they have lost. It I were to be buried it would have to be with my Prada handbag and a large box of Maltesers, although perhaps that would be greedy and I should give the handbag to my sister.

I don't want a Catholic funeral with mournful music and a gloomy congregation muttering,'Well, at least she has gone to a better place.' I would love a fun affair.

Instead of the funeral march, I would like the organist to play the music that used to accompany the Cadbury's Flake commercial because I believe things that I love should be represented. I would also like my favourite song, 'These Boots are Made for Walkin', by Nancy Sinatra, to be played.

No one would be allowed to wear black - everyone would have to wear the most glamorous clothes they owned; the women their highest heels. I would like it to be a celebratory occasion, with friends and relatives not mourning, but rejoicing about their lives.

At the wake the tables would be laden with all sorts of forbidden foods. People would be allowed to stuff themselves with chocolate and not feel guilty. We waste so much of our lives on negative feelings, and I would want people to use my death as a kind of object lesson: an opportunity to brush away the cobwebs of remorse that govern our lives.

It I knew I was going to die and somehow had to make plans, I would look at my friends and tell them to make the most of their lives (perhaps this is arrogant of me). If someone had always been stuck in a job that they hated, I would tell them to leave. If another wanted to go travelling but had never got around to it, I would tell them to take a year off from work to do it.

It may sound paradoxical, but death should be life-affirming. I am happy with what I have achieved in my life and feel especially lucky to have the peace of mind that I do today. If nothing of interest happened to me for the rest of my life, I would be quite content. There is no huge project or burning ambition I feel I should accomplish before I die; the books I write are to be enjoyed now, not read after I am gone.

Being remembered or leaving a legacy has never interested me, but I'd like people to say, 'She was a kind person with nice shoes.'